Gwenda's Fruit Cake

From cooking.weloveit.info

Ingredients

• 1 cup water
• 1 cup sugar
• 4 large eggs
• 1 ½ cups dried fruit
• 1 teaspoon baking power
• 1 cup all purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup brown sugar
• lemon juice
• nuts
• 1 gallon whiskey (note: rum may be substituted for whiskey)

Method

1. Sample the whiskey to check the quality.
2. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
3. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
4. Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.
5. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
6. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup.
7. Turn off mixer.
8. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
9. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a screwdriver.
10. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
11. Next sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
12. Check the whiskey.
13. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
14. Add 1 tablespoon of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
15. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
16. Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
17. Throw the bowl out of the window.
18. Check the whiskey again.
19. Go to bed. Who the heck likes fruit cake anyway?

Thanks Gwenda